Johnny Drama Award: Roddy Piper

I love this guy. The only reason I haven’t mentioned him earlier is I thought it was obvious. Roddy Piper is best known (outside of wrestling) for his role in John Carpenter’s They Live, where he kicked more ass than he chewed bubble gum, particularly in an epic street fight with fellow Johnny Drama Keith David, which serves as the centerpiece of the film even though it’s mostly unnecessary. Roddy went on to appear in the Highlander, Robocop and Mortal Kombat TV shows and the modern classic Hell Comes to Frogtown.

Movie From the Vault - Rockula

I keep posting this because the trailer's as funny as the movie. The voice-over guy sounds like the voice Trey Parker does to make fun of voice-over guys.

This movie stars 80's darling Dean Cameron as a mild-mannered vampire who actually just wants to be a musician. Classic.

Solomon Kane

I saw the real trailer for "Solomon Kane" forever ago and thought "that looks cool", then kept an eye out for it for a while, then kind of forgot it. Then I saw this fake trailer on YouTube pretending it was a Van Helsing sequel and someone posted that this movie actually came out in 2009! What the hell? A search on Netflix revealed that it was not available there. A search on Amazon revealed only DVD's in Region 2. I managed to get hold of it by other means and discovered that it is actually a pretty cool movie.

I've only read a couple of Solomon Kane stories, so I don't know how faithful an adaptation it is, but apparently the filmmakers are fans of the original stories. It's certainly a better movie than Conan. It has fun action and an amazing cast (and actually has a big monster at the end, unlike a certain Cimmerian's recent movie). "Ironclad" came and went the same way and was also a really good movie. Why doesn't James Purefoy get the respect he deserves? He brings a solemn dignity and intensity to every role he takes on, but even when he's in movies that ought to be big they don't find the right audience. And what the hell happened to this movie?

Asteroids Do Concern Me Playthrough

TVAMD Presents "Weird World Tour 2011, Part 1"

TV Ate My Dinner sends Sean and Greg into Florida to look at weird things. In Part 1, Sean visits the Cult Fiction Con in Jacksonville, they shop for fruit, fireworks, and alligator heads and they prepare for their journey to the Coral Castle, the Skunk Ape Research Center, and the last space shuttle launch.

Cool Avengers poster

DC's die cast new look

Is it me, or are DC's characters wearing a lot of metal in the relaunch? Why is Superman wearing armor? And why is everyone wearing metal boots? Apparently in the relaunch the Earth begins losing mass and they have to fight a threat to universal gravitation. It's a sad day when Aquaman is leading the charge for wardrobe conservatism. He's the only one not wearing weighted boots and he's the only one who lives underwater, where you might actually need them.

New Superman: Underpants or No Underpants?

Best Movie Line Ever

Weird World Tour 2011!

Just got back from the Weird World Tour 2011 (mostly just touring weird things in Florida). Saw the last space shuttle, visited the Skunk Ape Research Center, investigated the mysteries of the Coral Castle, and ate some Alien Fresh jerky. Videos and podcasts to follow with greater details, but for now check out this neat new logo!

VRON, Sean and Dane

This is also at the Rail. Just hangin' out. I can't wait for St. Patrick's Day next year.

Game of Thrones

Can't wait for season 2 of "Game of Thrones"? Just watch this until it comes back.

Gilberto and VRON

Gilberto hanging at the Rail Pub in Savannah with his robot companion VRON

iPhone gets aggressive in new ad campaign

Shark Attack (the drink)

Here's something that's all rage these days down in the Low Country: The Shark Attack! It's basically vodka and pineapple with a splash of curacao and grenadine thrown in. As you know, I've always been a big fan of vodka and pineapple. This is just the next step. It was invented by the good folks at the Rail Pub, so you know it's good. More to follow on this subject, I guarantee it.

The C Word Part 3: Earlier...

Finally a little payoff for your patience. In the 3rd segment of TV Ate My Dinner's 2009 Christmas epic, the boys raid Sean's parents' attic and explore his past, discovering some toy treasures along the way.

Final Destination 5

I like how Tony Todd is back as the creepy coroner guy. They should just kill him and see what that does. This series is like scream; it exhausted the idea by the end of the first film. I like the elaborate death scenes because this is one of the few horror franchises that celebrates mindless gores. It's one of the only horror franchises at all, really, you almost never see a series make it to 5.  I think they should just embrace it and do what all great franchises do: Make one of these movies in outer space.

Or maybe they could to a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Chucky vs. Death crossover. I'd pay money to see Freddy, Jason and Chucky all living in an apartment trying not to succumb to horrible domestic accidents. They've all cheated death on numerous occasions. Jason could trip on a wet floor sign and fall on his own machete, Freddy could swat a mosquito and put his eyes out with his finger knives, and Chucky could accidentally flush himself down the toilet. You could also bring Ash into it if you wanted, but he's already being constantly stalked by death and self dismemberment so you might not notice the difference.

The C Word Part 2: Tradition

This long-awaited continuation of our TV Ate My Dinner Christmas adventure threatens to be equally challenging of the audience's patience. Take a few minutes to meet the Savannah chapter of the TVAMD Adventure Club before Sean embarks on an epic journey to re-discover the treasures of his youth.

CONAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The more I see of this movie, the cooler it looks...

Trollhunter

This looks interesting...

Cool Clips - "Land of Confusion" by Genesis

One of the greatest music videos ever...

Johnny Drama Award: Reb Brown

Reb Brown didn't just don spandex and a winged motorcycle helmet in the 1979 Captain America movies, he's been a magnificent cheesehead in lots of movies.

Reb was in the softcore sequel Howling 2 with sybil danning, played Yor, the Hunter from the Future and he starred in Space Mutiny, a 1988 direct to video B movie whose chief claim to fame - besides getting the MST3K treatment - is that they used FX shots from Battlestar Galactica as space stock footage.

Reb also appeared in classic TV shows like CHIPs, the Rockford Files and Fantasy Island.

This list of credits is more than enough to earn you Johnny Drama status, but he'll always have a place in my heart for wearing the stars and stripes. Congratulations, Reb!

Redneck Satyr!

Redneck Satyr. Favorite Movies: Joe Dirt, Run Ronnie Run, Clash of the Titans. Favorite musicians: Driveby Truckers, Zamfir. Interests include wine and nymphs.

The world is changing and someone needs to stand up.  Redneck Satyr is the hero you've been crying out for. Show me where it hurts, world. I'm here to help.

E-mail me at RedneckSatyr@gmail.com!

Captain America: The First Avenger

I think this looks really good. I'm psyched about the suit. The World War 2 angle is awesome. I'm a little concerned that they're not embracing the Captain America name. The American market has the unnecessary subtitle to associate the character with the upcoming Avengers movie and in some markets abroad it's just called The First Avenger. I'm also not enthusiastic about the fact that it was in re-shoots just 2 months before its release, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm just happy to see Captain America on screen again.

Here are some of his previous film incarnations:

Truth, Justice, and all that other stuff

Scary Gary brought this article to my attention about Superman renouncing US citizenship. Symbolic gestures go with the territory for a guy who wears a cape and tights, but the "Superman" persona can't actually hold legal citizenship as it is not his legal name. The point they're trying to make is that Superman wants the values and ideals he stands for to be applicable to everyone everywhere. Therefore he must divorce himself from the conception that he is an instrument of the American government.

This is interesting. The idea is that Superman wants to stand for everyone, not just America. But "the American Way" used to be about standing for everyone, so who split from whom? It's a clever idea because it makes the suggestion that maybe America stopped being about the American Way. 


It's not anathema to the superhero genre to address political issues. As a stylized art form they are actually in a better position to mirror the world we live in than other media. It's also good for superheroes and their scribes to ground themselves from time to time and analyse their world and through it ours.


Green Lantern and Green Arrow did this back in the 70's and it helped make comics better...

This could also be a good move for Superman when you consider future dystopia stories like "The Dark Knight Returns" that envisioned Superman as the red right hand of a corrupt American government. With this move he's making a statement that the principles he stands for are timeless and not subject to the changing of regimes. In that respect he's actually preserving the American Way, at least the one we all used to be so proud of.

Movie In the Vault: Turkish Batwoman

While perusing the web world for superheroine posters, I accidentally came across this print (sorry if it's too revealing, but it only has its full impact as shown):

What's more fascinating about this purely prurient Turkish Batwoman movie is how difficult it is to find. I've browsed a bit for clips but apparently even die hard bootleggers have come back from Turkey empty-handed. I'm sure nothing lives up to this poster, but the mystique is only strengthened in the absence of a viewable copy. And this is coming from a guy who foolishly assumed that the Turkish Star Wars was the apex of what they had to offer in the way of bootleg B movies. I'm still on the lookout for this gem but it looks like I might not have any luck with this one.

Insidious

If you're a fan of old school horror you should go see this movie. I was very reluctant when I discovered it was PG-13, but the TVAMD Twitter followers convinced me to give it a chance.

I won't give it away, but the story is strong and the characters aren't stupid. It has difficulty sustaining but it starts off with a few legitimate scares and gets you invested. In places it's overly ambitious, but it's fun and visually rewarding.

It has all the feel of an older horror movie but has some fun payoff. Having the right people on screen really makes a difference too.

This movie has everything that Paranormal Activity 2 tried to do, but when you don't care about the people it turns out you don't care what happens to their kids. That's something this movie got right where that one failed.

Johnny Drama Award: Terry Kiser

I don't care what anybody says, "Weekend At Bernie's" is still one of the funniest movies ever.  And it's all because of this guy...

Terry Kiser

Besides being the life of the party even though he was dead throughout "Weekend At Bernie's" and its dubious sequel, Kiser was also a staple of 80's movies and TV. He did guest spots on "The Fall Guy", "Magnum P.I." and "Knight Rider". He later played H.G. Wells in more than one episode of "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman".

He's one of those faces you know even if you don't know why, even though he's still most recognizable for his role as a corpse.

Here's the trailer for "Forest Warrior", a Chuck Norris eco-flick about evil loggers. So I guess Chuck's house is made of soy. I'm not sure, but watch close, because I'm pretty sure at 1:09 Chuck punches a chipmunk.

Cool Clips - Hobo with a Gun

This might also be the coolest movie ever made...

Cool Clips - Blackstar Warrior

Best. Movie. Ever.

Buried

Ryan Reynolds does a great job in this movie considering he has very little to work with. And I'm not referring to the "claustrophobic" surroundings that are meant to create the film's tension. I'm talking about the lack of story. The concept of the movie is meant to carry it the whole way, so they don't bother to introduce any element for us to actually care about.

Reynolds wakes up to find himself locked in a coffin and spends the first 10 minutes of the movies grunting and screaming. He then proceeds to call a mindless parade of remarkably useless morons on the world's greatest cell phone (he's calling from a coffin in the ground, remember). Just when you're ready to give up he gets a call from a terrorist demanding a ransom. The story maintains this level of absurdity until the end, where it peaks.

I don't believe any of the characters. Everyone but Reynolds is unforgivably two dimensional, so you can't accept that a world even exists outside that box. The trouble is, if I don't believe the world outside the box then I can't invest anything in what's happening inside it.

I also think the cell phone generation is more enamored of toys than they should be. I understand that this was the device they needed to give him a link to the world, but the tension built around it felt more like the aggravation one feels when trying to connect with tech support than a real crisis situation.

The whole movie's designed to prey on the viewer's personal sensibilities and so we never really develop any empathy for the character. The suspense is contrived and predictable, and sometimes they just do something dumb to break their own boredom. At one point an asp gets into the coffin and Reynolds has to MacGyver it with the contents of his flask and his trusty Zippo (what is he drinking, pure kerosene?)

The tone is also wrong. They're more interested in modeling this movie after torture-victim tragedies like Saw than legitimate character suspense thrillers. They should have watched "Phone Booth" instead. That movie did the same concept, but it actually worked. Or "Closet Land", which was much truer than this idea and disturbingly effective. This movie just felt like overly ambitious filmmakers experimenting with an idea they didn't fully understand.

Movie from the Vault - Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat

Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat 

Another weird one from B-movie auteur Anthony Hickox (who brought us Waxwork, Warlock 2 & Hellraiser 3, amongst other classics), this particularly fun flick is about a repentant Dracula (played by David Carradine) who leads like-minded night creatures to a Ghost Town along with a team of scientists charged with developing a synthetic plasma substitute and SPF 9 million sun block so they can live their lives without hurting anybody. 


Oh yeah, it's also a Western. Super hottie Deborah Foreman plays a nymphy bloodsucker who seduces a dopey vampire hunter played by Bruce Campbell. And the bad guy is Rex Manning himself, Maxwell Caulfield.


This one's got it all, folks.

Paranormal Activity 2

This unnecessary follow-up to Paranormal Activity re-treads the original formula with a weak tie-in and none of the raw suspense. The underlying story in the first film was more plausible and claustrophobic. In this one there's no consistency and no one knows what's going on or why.

The POV device doesn't work as well because they are always conveniently filming themselves for no reason. The characters (all annoying and not remotely credible) seem to forget sometimes that the story is told through POV, since they never really give credence to the tapes when something happens. There is also way more asinine exposition (an hour goes by before anything substantive even happens). The story in the first film was simple and so it worked. This just plays to our sensibilities by putting a baby and a dog in harm's way while doing nothing to advance the story.

This movie tries desperately to weave itself into the framework of its predecessor to the detriment of both. Paranormal Activity 2 uses all the same visual gags as the first, but they happen out of place and absent of story. In the end the camera just starts shaking uncontrollably and the lights go in and out. It makes you nostalgic for the no-budget feel of the first film.

Paranormal Activity 2 illustrates the same lesson we learned from Blair Witch 2: Amateur filmmakers trying to be professional are much more capable than professionals trying to look amateur.

Conan!

"I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom's realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer's Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content."

Johnny Drama Award: Nicholas Worth

Johnny Drama's are like pornography: You know them when you see them.

Nicholas Worth is no longer with us, but he was one of those character actors of the 80's who made the movies of that time so fun. After killing Alec Holland and creating the Swamp Thing he drank a poisoned potion and got turned into a midget, then he suffered the wrath of the Darkman after doing pretty much the same thing in that movie. Not sure how he missed out on killing the Crow, but he left that honor to fellow Johnny Drama David Patrick Kelley.

He also did spots on a ton of 80's TV shows like Fantasy Island, Charlie's Angels, and Night Court, so he's definitely a face you'd know.

Cool Clips - Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody

TVAMD Adventure Club: Weapons Training

You think we don't take the TVAMD Adventure Club seriously? Check out this awesome action training montage! You can tell I still need some practice, but that's what training's for.

The Dolemite Explosion!

This was kind of a comeback movie for Rudy Ray Moore, but he died shortly after making it so it ended up being his swan song. They withheld releasing it on DVD, finally putting it out as part of a Dolemite Total Experience box set. It's worth it, considering you get both of the original Dolemite movies, "Disco Godfather" and "Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil's Son in Law".

Rudy Ray Moore was one of the original Blaxploitation heroes back in the 70's. His raunchy stand-up comedy and independent kung fu action movies made him a big hit back in those days, even though he was somewhat overshadowed by more prominent movies of the genre life "Shaft".

But Rudy Ray had a lingering effect on his audiences because of his carefree style of improvisational rap and the imaginative flair of his movies. "The Human Tornado" used fast motion techniques to give the karate fighting more pizazz while in "Petey Wheatstraw" he had magical powers granted to him by Satan himself. In the original "Dolemite" he had an all girl army of kung fu killers at his disposal, which at the very least makes for an awesome poster.

"The Dolemite Explosion" is a welcome return to the same style. Dolemite returns from an extended sabbatical in Africa, where he has discovered a voodoo juice that gives him jedi powers over time and space. He uses these powers mostly to show off, stopping time just to prove a point but relying on stunt doubles to fight his battles for him. If only he'd used a body double for the sex scenes too, but his taste in women and predilection for exposing his bare ass has not diminished in 30 years.

The Godfather of Rap offers up a few new rhymes in this one too, like the final line where he announces: "I have been chosen to survive the explosion!" The abrupt ending may lead you believe that the movie wasn't finished, but that's just his style too.

TVAMD Vidcast: Psychic Strippers

Sean and Dane channel the spirit of Greg to discuss their latest plan for paranormal adventure: Soliciting the aid of psychic strippers for extreme ghost adventures! Plus we discuss new advancements in clean energy. Just kidding, all we do is talk about psychic strippers.

Kirk vs. Vader

TVAMD Presents "The C Word, Part 1"

The release of this segment is in no way a promise to release subsequent episodes in a timely fashion. This story is themed around Christmas, having taken place at Christmastime, so I'll try to have to have all the episodes out by next Christmas. Fair enough?

TVAMD Vidcast: The End is Nigh, Part 2

Sean, Dane and Greg discuss the ins and outs of the post apocalypse, from the Book of Eli to 2012. And we get around to telling you how an iphone can save your life.

Movie from the Vault: House 2

Oh yes, long before Indiana Jones dusted off his hat (that he’s had since 1912) to investigate the mystery of the crystal skulls, Arye Gross took a crack at it.  Things you can expect from this movie:  Arye Gross exhumes his Old West prospector Grampa to find he’s still alive, thanks to the power of the crystal skull he was buried with.  But his nemesis, a gunslinger wraith seeking the skull himself, forces the gang to seek the help of John Ratzenberger, an electrician/adventurer who uncovers a portal to another dimension in their basement.  After rescuing the skull from a pterodactyl and rescuing an Aztec princess from an evil pagan priest, Arye has a final showdown with the undead cowboy that proves why he was chosen to be the voice of Lando in the Return of the Jedi radio serial.

Johnny Drama Award: David Patrick Kelly

It’s hard to define the qualities of a real-life Johnny Drama. These hard-working charismatic movie stars never really made it to A-list status, but have given us many a Saturday movie night to remember and are the real heroes of the movie business.

David Patrick Kelly

He’s been killed by most of the greats.  Bruce Willis took him down in Last Man Standing, Brandon Lee got him in the Crow, even Dennis Quaid got a piece of him in Dreamscape.  He’s my favorite sinister creepy, gracing classics like The Warriors and even got nailed by Andrew Dice Clay in his role as Sam the Sleazebag.  He also dies better than your average bad guy.  You’re always looking for him to get his, but by the time it happens you kind of feel bad about it.  I like this guy, he’s a real actor who kind of fell into the B movie scene.

Surviving the Zombie War: Part 2 - The First 48 Hours

Most zombie stories are about the initial outbreak and are good cautionary tales about the first 48.  Most people will not survive the first 48 hours of the outbreak.  First off, you won’t know it’s happening for the first couple of hours, which will eat up critical response opportunities.   Add to that the initial denial due to normalcy bias and some early rookie mistakes like crashing your car into a telephone pole or boarding yourself up in a farmhouse and you’ve lost four hours of good travel time.  Meanwhile the zombie threat is spreading exponentially. 

In the first 4 hours, there will be dozens of zombies in your area.  That’s when you’ll probably start understanding the scope of the problem. 

By the end of the first 24 hours there will be hundreds, which is why people who board themselves up on the first day aren’t able to run by the second. 

By the end of the first 48 hours there will be thousands of zombies in a well-populated area, because by then 50% or more of the population will have been turned.  Another 30% of the population will probably be dead, because the purpose of zombie attacks is not infection, but predation.  That will leave the zombie population ravenous and enraged, with a swiftly diminishing food supply. 

By the time they run out of food they will be in large enough numbers to successfully lay siege to any fortification and wipe out anyone still living in it.  Critical mistakes in the first 4 hours of the outbreak lead to most people not surviving the first 48 hours.  Your best bet is to get out of the area while there are still other people around for the zombies to eat.

First 48 Filmography:

1. Night of the Living Dead:  Classic negative example.  Not understanding the nature of the threat, they all hole up in the same farmhouse and practically end up killing each other before the zombies even get to them.  Rookie mistake.
2. Dawn of the Dead (original and remake):  They try to fortify a mall, which is one of the least defensible places on the planet.  Death wish.
3. Return of the Living Dead:  Hoping to be rescued, they call for help and the military nukes the town.  Points for understanding the scope of the problem, but getting out of town would have been better.
4. Resident Evil:  Realizing that they’ve released the zombie plague into their lab, they seal the building off and try to kill everyone in it.  Good effort, Umbrella Corporation, but containment is always impossible.
5. House of the Dead:  24 hour party people get into a gun shipment and go John Woo on the lumbering dead, but eventually they get surrounded and have to hole up in a mausoleum.  Making a stand never ends well; eventually you’re just going to end up in a zombie pirate sword fight.  Might sound like fun, but it’s actually just really really stupid.

Cool Clips - Cats in Zero Gravity

Tracy brought us this fine example of our tax dollars at work...

The Cape: NBC's Latest Superhero

NBC has had a long-running love/hate relationship with the scifi and superhero genres. They dumped their "it came from the deep" invasion series "Surface" (which was actually on its way to being good) to put forward "Heroes", a really promising idea for a superhero series that never quite got the point. Their effort to revive "the Bionic Woman" died as quickly as the time travel series "Journeyman". Their recent roster is as littered with single season genre failures as the average Friday night lineup on Fox, but they keep trying.

The current trend toward dark and gritty scifi, brought on by the success of moody mysteries like "Lost", has spawned halfway hybrids like "Persons Unknown" and "The Event", which cosmetically employ scifi elements but are more closely derived from conspiracy thrillers like "24". "The Event" even promotes itself as a cross between "Lost" and "24", which is obviously what the creators intended.

But getting back to "Heroes": This show's the one that represent the problem fully. It was stylish and cool, but in its effort to reinvent the superhero genre it managed to invalidate everything the genre was created to uphold. The characters were dark and conflicted, flawed to the point where they flip-flopped constantly between good and evil, ultimately failing to stand for any principles at all, even friendship and family. The stories were convoluted soap opera serials that bent the characters to fit the plot from week to week until no one knew or cared what was going on. So after a record-breaking 4 seasons, "Heroes" disappeared from the NBC roster too.

Which brings us to "The Cape". This show offers nothing new or original to comic books or television, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  It's set in the comic-themed Palm City, which is terrorized by a masked madman called Chess (who is also a billionaire businessman privatizing the police force like the OCP corporation did in Robocop). Our hero Faraday is a cop framed by Chess and forced to let the world believe he's killed. Afterwards he is taken in by the Carnival of Crime, a circus who make their living as bank robbers for about 10 minutes until their ringleader (played by Keith David) decides instead to train Faraday in all the arts of escapism and illusion.

This is just one in a string of lucky coincidences that conspire to create Faraday's superhero identity, but that is itself an accepted part of the genre, so it's forgiven. The persona of the Cape already exists as the comic book hero of Faraday's son, so when he starts his training his new instructor just happens to have an indestructible super-cape he can wear to serve that purpose.

Faraday is also in contact with a mysterious all-knowing computer hacker called Orwell, who puts him in harm's way while feeding him information about his enemies. Orwell turns out to be scifi series refugee Summer Glau, who has herself been a regular on no less than three failed genre shows, all of which met an untimely death on Fox.

So Faraday is taught to be a master magician and escapist, dons his super-cape and sets out to defeat Chess and restore liberty to Palm City.

"The Cape" is simply a retread of comic book conventions recycled into the TV format. The Cape is about as generic a moniker as you could come up with for a superhero.  Orwell is obviously based in some way on the DC character Oracle, who is also a hot chick computer hacker who knows everything.  And all the villains have simple nicknames like Scales or Tarot; a rogue's gallery more suited to Dick Tracy than a modern superhero. But is that all bad? I think a back to basics approach may be just what we need. So many people have tried to reinvent the wheel in the superhero genre that no one's just telling stories. Superheroes don't have to be re-packaged for the modern audience, they just have to be well-written. There's a reason you don't reinvent the wheel: The wheel works.

"The Cape" is fun and well told, and it's populated with good actors. This is a series that could really work if it has a chance to catch on. Maybe it will.

Surviving the Zombie War: Part One - The Combatants

What is the Zombie War?

This term is a misnomer.  The zombie outbreak will destroy any government or military infrastructure within a matter of days or weeks.  After that the human race will be its own army and anyone left alive will be a soldier.  And the only way to win this war will be to stay alive.

Combatants

1. Zombies.  Not only are they the top contender, but they will probably represent a majority of the population in a very short period of time.  In fact, by the time you realize the severity of the zombie threat, there will most likely be more of them than us.
2. Survivors.  Hopefully you fall into this category, because that’s who this is written for.  Survivors are simply those dispossessed humans trying to find someplace they can go to be safe.
3. Marauders.  There are scavengers drawn to every disaster.  While decent people will be trying to survive the apocalypse, looters will be picking through the rubble for some way to profit from it.  When there’s nothing left to loot, they’ll quickly evolve into gangs of bandits and thieves.  This is the Mad Max syndrome.  Some people were never fit for a civilized world anyway, and they’ll instantly embrace the lawlessness of the Necrocracy.
4. Crazies.  Hell on Earth has a tendency to eat at people, in this case literally.  Some survivors are likely to be so traumatized that they’ll be holed up somewhere waiting for someone to set them off.  Don’t be the one to do it. 
5. New World Order.  When society collapses, some people will adapt to anarchy while others hold to the mores enforced by the previous administration.  Some will jump at the chance to improve on the model, however, and suddenly you’ll start running into self-appointed militia men and citizen soldiers who expect you to follow the law of the land because their guns are bigger than yours.  Or worse yet, they’ll want to recruit you.

TVAMD Vidcast: The End is Nigh, Part 1

Sean, Dane and Greg consider the coming apocalypse with retro reviews of The Book of Eli, 2012 and Waterworld. They also tell you how having an iPhone can save your life.

Cool Clips - The Philip DeFranco Show

You can catch this guy all over YouTube, Facebook and Twitter. I think he's really funny and I wish I could put out as much content as he does.

Movie from the Vault: Bad Moon

Two things I love in this world: Bad werewolf movies and bad Michael Pare' movies. This one, my friends, is both! This is a must see for B movie enthusiasts, not because it's overtly bad or anything. Mostly because, as bad werewolf movies go, this one's okay. I hate how monster movies always kill the dog off, but this is the only one I know of where the dog is actually the hero.

Johnny Drama Award: Wings Hauser

It’s hard to define the qualities of a real-life Johnny Drama. These hard-working charismatic movie stars never really made it to A-list status, but have given us many a Saturday movie night to remember and are the real heroes of the movie business.

Wings Hauser

Like many Johnny Drama’s, Wings was a staple of 80’s TV, guest-starring in Baretta, The Fall Guy, The A-Team, Magnum P.I., Hunter, Airwolf, Space Rangers and Freddy’s Nightmares.  But he’s been in tons of movies, always standing out with that dramatic flare that seemed to die out in the 80’s.  Whenever they make a retro flick like Original Gangsters or Tales from the Hood they always bring in Wings, but he had a hand in the crap horror franchise Watchers (he was in Watchers III, which is strangely the only one I haven’t seen).  But I’ll always remember him best for his role as Arklon in Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of time.

TV Ate My Dinner: The Baldwin Challenge, Part 2

Sean, Dane and Greg return to continue a pointless discussion regarding a rumor they heard a year ago about whether Alec Baldwin was planning to retire. Another nail-biter from the folks at TV Ate My Dinner...

TV Ate My Dinner: The Baldwin Challenge, Part 1

We recorded this a while ago, so Mr. Baldwin is probably past his retirement crisis, but all the same Sean, Dane and Greg take a whack at his career woes. Is his concern about his leading man roles valid or is he an accomplished character actor with nothing to be ashamed of?