Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Movie from the Vault - Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat

Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat 

Another weird one from B-movie auteur Anthony Hickox (who brought us Waxwork, Warlock 2 & Hellraiser 3, amongst other classics), this particularly fun flick is about a repentant Dracula (played by David Carradine) who leads like-minded night creatures to a Ghost Town along with a team of scientists charged with developing a synthetic plasma substitute and SPF 9 million sun block so they can live their lives without hurting anybody. 

Oh yeah, it's also a Western. Super hottie Deborah Foreman plays a nymphy bloodsucker who seduces a dopey vampire hunter played by Bruce Campbell. And the bad guy is Rex Manning himself, Maxwell Caulfield.

This one's got it all, folks.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Paranormal Activity 2

This unnecessary follow-up to Paranormal Activity re-treads the original formula with a weak tie-in and none of the raw suspense. The underlying story in the first film was more plausible and claustrophobic. In this one there's no consistency and no one knows what's going on or why.

The POV device doesn't work as well because they are always conveniently filming themselves for no reason. The characters (all annoying and not remotely credible) seem to forget sometimes that the story is told through POV, since they never really give credence to the tapes when something happens. There is also way more asinine exposition (an hour goes by before anything substantive even happens). The story in the first film was simple and so it worked. This just plays to our sensibilities by putting a baby and a dog in harm's way while doing nothing to advance the story.

This movie tries desperately to weave itself into the framework of its predecessor to the detriment of both. Paranormal Activity 2 uses all the same visual gags as the first, but they happen out of place and absent of story. In the end the camera just starts shaking uncontrollably and the lights go in and out. It makes you nostalgic for the no-budget feel of the first film.

Paranormal Activity 2 illustrates the same lesson we learned from Blair Witch 2: Amateur filmmakers trying to be professional are much more capable than professionals trying to look amateur.

Monday, March 21, 2011


"I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom's realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer's Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content."

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Johnny Drama Award: Nicholas Worth

Johnny Drama's are like pornography: You know them when you see them.

Nicholas Worth is no longer with us, but he was one of those character actors of the 80's who made the movies of that time so fun. After killing Alec Holland and creating the Swamp Thing he drank a poisoned potion and got turned into a midget, then he suffered the wrath of the Darkman after doing pretty much the same thing in that movie. Not sure how he missed out on killing the Crow, but he left that honor to fellow Johnny Drama David Patrick Kelley.

He also did spots on a ton of 80's TV shows like Fantasy Island, Charlie's Angels, and Night Court, so he's definitely a face you'd know.

Cool Clips - Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody