Saturday, December 22, 2012

Surviving the Zombie War, Part 1

Now that the apocalypse has happened, it's only a matter of time until there are zombies. So it's best you prepare yourself. Don't want to end up like the twinkie, do you? Everyone thought they'd last forever too. Share these teachings on the internet (until the grid crashes), memorize them and spread the word verbally to as many people as will listen. Hopefully the illustrations will help to break the language barrier, but if not you may have to translate it wherever necessary. This will save lives, so it’s your duty to get the information to everyone you can.

What is the Zombie War? Actually, this term is a misnomer. The zombie outbreak will destroy any government or military infrastructure within a matter of days or weeks. After that the human race will be its own army and anyone left alive will be a soldier.

And the only way to win this war will be to stay alive.



The first lesson in survival is not knowing who to trust (because you can’t trust anyone), it’s knowing what you’re up against.

It will be a harsh and unforgiving world when the zombies come, so you better acquaint yourself with the challenges you’re likely to face.


Hopefully you fall into this category, because that’s who this is written for. Survivors are simply those dispossessed humans trying to find someplace they can go to be safe from pretty much everybody else.


Not only are they the top contender, but they will probably represent a majority of the population in a very short period of time. In fact, by the time you realize the severity of the zombie threat, there will most likely be more of them than us.


There are scavengers drawn to every disaster. While decent people will be trying to survive the apocalypse, looters will be picking through the rubble for some way to profit from it. When there’s nothing left to loot, they’ll quickly evolve into gangs of bandits and thieves. This is the Mad Max syndrome. Some people were never fit for a civilized world anyway, and they’ll instantly embrace the lawlessness of the Necrocracy.


Hell on Earth has a tendency to eat at people, in this case literally. Some survivors are likely to be so traumatized that they’ll be holed up somewhere waiting for someone to set them off. Don’t be the one to do it.


When society collapses, some people will adapt to anarchy while others will hold to the mores enforced by the previous administration. Some will jump at the chance to improve on the model, however, and suddenly you’ll start running into self-appointed militia men and citizen soldiers who expect you to follow the law of the land because their guns are bigger than yours. 

Or worse yet, they’ll want to recruit you.

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