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Monday, June 22, 2015

Jurassic World Park Inspection


SPOILER ALERT - Just a few questions after seeing Jurassic World:
  • How did Jurassic World get insurance after the events of the first three films? 
    • Wasn't a single injury enough to warrant a full inspection by dinosaur experts in the first film? 
    • And didn't those experts unanimously agree that the park failed that inspection?
  • Why are any of the dinosaurs hatched from eggs? 
    • When you clone an embryo do you have to develop it in an egg and hatch it?
  • Why did InGen build Jurassic World on Isla Nublar? 
    • Wasn't it overrun with dinosaurs by the end of the first film? 
    • Wouldn't it have been easier to start all over in a more secure location?
  • Why are their research labs inside the park itself? 
    • Wouldn't it be safer to do genetic experiments somewhere a little more private and controlled?
  • Why would people send their kids across the ocean to a dinosaur island where dozens of people have been killed, under the care of an aunt that hasn't seen them in 7 years?
  • Why was the Indominus Rex raised in the park itself? 
    • Why was it raised in the actual enclosure that would be used for the exhibit? 
    • Is that how all the animals they create are raised?
  • How did they fund creating the Indominus Rex or its enclosure when they didn't have a sponsor to pay for it yet?
  • Why has the CEO not seen their billion dollar experimental exhibit until three weeks before the exhibit opens? 
  • Why didn't someone look into the incident when the I Rex ate its sibling?
  • Does Chris Pratt live on the island?
    • Does everyone who works there live there?
    • If so, why isn't there more reliable transport to and from the island?
    • Is everyone who works for the park essentially stranded there until a cruise ship full of tourists shows up?
  • Why did they ask Chris Pratt to look over the I Rex enclosure for security reasons only three weeks before the exhibit was supposed to open? 
    • Who inspected it before that? 
    • Who designed it? 
    • Do they not consult any experts when designing and building dinosaur enclosures?
    • Why did they think an ex-Navy velociraptor expert would know anything about building a T Rex enclosure? 
    • Wouldn't an engineer with zoo experience make more sense? 
    • How is he a velocirapture expert anyway?
  • Who raised the Indominus Rex? 
    • If Chris Pratt was the first dinosaur expert they had consulted on the subject, who actually raised it in the first place?
  • How did someone almost lose an arm feeding the Indominus Rex? 
    • What was the feeding system prior to using a crane? 
    • Why didn't they have a goat trapdoor like they did for T Rex? 
    • Why didn't they raise and feed the I Rex the same way they do the T Rex? 
  • The park is full of dinosaurs. Why don't they know how to socialize and acclimate a predator for a new exhibit?
  • Why weren't they bothered by the fact that the I Rex had tried to break the glass? 
    • Why didn't they replace it with stronger glass? 
    • Were they planning to open the exhibit in three weeks with cracked windows? 
    • How could they have fixed the glass, or made any necessary adjustments to the enclosure, if the I Rex was already living in it and they have no way to control it?
  • How was the exhibit to be viewed? 
    • The only observation room was also the security room where the guard was supposed to be watching the monitors, so where would the guests have viewed the I Rex?
  • How does the I Rex know it can mask its thermal signature? 
    • How does it know that's helpful? 
    • Wouldn't it have done it by accident at some point, while it was still learning what it could do, and wouldn't they have noticed on their monitors that it had done it? 
    • How did it know that scratching the walls and masking its heat signature would make them think it was gone?
  • What is Chris Pratt training velociraptors to do if he doesn't think there's any practical application to their training? 
    • Why aren't there any scientists studying his progress? 
    • If the only person interested in his work is a bloodthirsty paramilitary corporate mercenary, what does he think will happen as a result of his research?
    • If Chris Pratt thinks raising dinosaurs for military or recreational use is unnatural, why is he there? 
    • What does he think his job is?
  • Why does Vincent D'onofrio think the velociraptors are ready for field use when they almost ate Chris Pratt thirty seconds after he stepped into the enclosure with them?
    • Why is D'onofrio trying to convince Chris Pratt to weaponize the raptors? 
    • Why doesn't he just get someone to raise raptors on Isla Sorna and train them using the same techniques?
  • Why is Jurassic World's billion dollar experimental dinosaur being guarded by a fat guy who sits with his back to all his safety monitors?
  • Why do they enter the I Rex enclosure when they can't detect the I Rex?
    • Why does Bryce Howard have to drive back to the control room to ask them where the I Rex's tracker is? 
    • Why didn't she just call them and ask that before anyone went inside the cage? 
    • If she couldn't call the control room for the I Rex's location, then why can she call out from the control room to tell the others to get out of the enclosure? 
    • Why are they in the enclosure anyway?
    • If they think the I Rex climbed out, what are they learning by standing there?
    • There were workmen all over the place outside the enclosure, why didn't they ask any of those guys if they'd seen a giant dinosaur pop out of the top of the enclosure?
    • Why doesn't the control room monitor the security feeds from all the enclosures?
    • Why do they need a guy sitting in there at all?
    • Wouldn't that guy at least have heard a 10 ton dinosaur scratching up the walls and seen that it hadn't actually gotten out?
    • If the I Rex could scratch the wall all the way up to the top to make it look like it climbed out, COULDN'T IT JUST HAVE ACTUALLY CLIMBED OUT?
    • Why does the I Rex wait for them to get a phone call before attacking?
    • Why doesn't it eat them the second they walk into the enclosure?
  • Why doesn't the I Rex enclosure have a person-sized exit just in case someone gets caught inside with the dinosaur? 
    • Why does the only way out open directly into the park? 
    • Why is there a dinosaur sized exit that opens directly into the park?
  • Why doesn't the park have an isolation and containment protocol for an escaped dinosaur? 
    • Did they not see any of the other movies?
  • If the I Rex escaped into part of the park where dinosaurs already run free, don't they technically already have it contained? 
    • Once the guests are evacuated from that part of the park, shouldn't the threat be neutralized? 
    • So shouldn't that be the priority?
    • Why does everyone think it will be easier to catch the I Rex before anyone finds out?
  • Why don't they have thermal sensors anywhere in the park other than the I Rex paddock?
  • Why doesn't Bryce Howard think about her nephews until the I Rex has been free for what seems like hours?
  • Why are her nephews standing in line for the gyrosphere when they have VIP passes that say they don't have to wait in line?
    • Why are the gyrospheres independently controlled with no remote override? 
    • Why can the gyrospheres travel beyond the perimeter at all? 
    • Why are the guests able to open the gyrosphere and leave it whenever they want? 
    • Why is there no emergency call function on the gyrosphere in case it gets attacked by a dinosaur? 
    • Why is there no cell phone reception in the gyrosphere?
    • Why would they let two kids drive a gyrosphere with no adult supervision?
    • If the I Rex can stomp through the gyrosphere couldn't any large dinosaur crack it?
  • Why isn't Jake Johnson keeping track of the gyrospheres, knowing as he does that a genetically engineered killing machine is on the loose?
    • They can track the gyrospheres from the control room, so why do Bryce Howard and Chris Pratt just go poking around looking for it?
    • Shouldn't they know exactly where it is?
  • Why is the genetic makeup of the I Rex classified from everyone in charge of keeping it secure?
    • Why is the CEO angry that the lab developed a super-predator when that's exactly what he asked for? 
    • Why is he mad that they used cuttlefish and tree frog DNA to do it?
    • If the geneticist knows off the top of his head where I Rex got genetic traits like chromatic and thermal camouflage, shouldn't they have been able to anticipate those abilities in some kind of security assessment beforehand?
  • What is the asset recovery team trained to do? 
    • Why don't they know anything about the I Rex or what it's capable of? 
    • Why does the control room have biometric readings on all the members of the team even though they are shocked that a potentially life-threatening situation has happened and they are otherwise completely ill-equipped to deal with it?
  • Wouldn't they have to keep livestock on hand to feed the large predators? 
    • Why don't they try to use that to bait the I Rex?
    • If the crane that feeds it is the only socialization the I Rex has ever had, why don't they ever try to use it to bait the creature?
    • Where do they get the great white sharks to feed the mosasaur? 
    • Is there a second equally terrifying park on the island where they farm great whites to be dinosaur food?
  • If a helicopter-mounted 50 cal machine gun is part of their emergency protocol, why can't anyone on the island but the CEO of the company fly a chopper?
  • Why do the pterodactyls immediately leave the aviary when it's breached? 
    • Why do they swarm on humans the second they're out? 
    • Are they not being fed at all?
  • Why aren't the guests gathered indoors for their safety? 
    • Is there nowhere indoors for them to go in case of emergency? 
    • What if there were a hurricane?
    • Why is it 45 minutes until the next ship comes to take the guests home? 
    • Why aren't the ships ready to take the guests back right away? 
    • Where do the ships go after they drop the guests off? 
    • Is there no available emergency transport?
  • Why does Chris Pratt go after the I Rex with a Winchester rifle when it turns out to be as ineffective as it looks?
  • After the I Rex concocts a genius escape plan and removes its tracking sensor, why doesn't it do anything smart ever again?
    • Why does it leave an obvious trail of death and destruction behind it everywhere it goes?
  • Why are the old Jurassic Park buildings abandoned out in the middle of the habitat? 
    • Why weren't they re-purposed or torn down?
  • How do the kids "fix up" a jeep after 20 years of entropy would have rotted the tires and left the battery useless? 
    • What are they tightening under the hood to fix that?
  • Why did they use raptor DNA to make the I Rex bigger and give it more teeth? 
    • Aren't raptors smaller with less teeth? 
    • Shouldn't they have used spinosaur DNA, since it's already bigger with more teeth? 
    • Why not just make another spinosaur?
  • Why can the I Rex speak raptor just because it was bred with raptor DNA? 
    • Does it speak tree frog and cuttlefish too? 
    • Is the complex language of velociraptors instinctive instead of being a sign of their high intelligence?
    • Why don't the asset recovery guys have raptor calls like Sam Neill used in JP3, if emulating raptor speech is so effective at securing their loyalty?
  • Why does D'onofrio say that they will take the raptors into the field with or without Chris Pratt's help even through he's the only one who can control them at all?
  • If they only wanted to use the raptors to track the I Rex, why didn't they just keep them muzzled?
  • Why aren't the raptors chipped with tracking devices?
  • Why do they even need the raptors to find the I Rex? 
    • Isn't it basically just stomping all over the place?
  • How do they ever transport any of these dinosaurs if they can't contain one with helicopters and bazookas?
  • Why does Bryce Howard take her nephews on the I Rex hunt with the raptors instead of TAKING THEM SOMEWHERE SAFE?
  • Why does inGen have to take over the control room with a whole new staff of paramilitary types? 
    • Why isn't the control room always staffed with these guys? 
    • Where did they come from? 
    • If inGen has redundant personnel for park staff in case of emergency, then why are they otherwise completely unprepared for the most obvious emergency that could happen in the park?
  • Where is BD Wong escaping to? 
    • If no one else on the island can fly a helicopter, where did this one come from?
    • If there's another site dedicated to military dinosaur experiments, then why are the inGen guys so concerned with weaponizing the animals in the park?
  • How is Chris Pratt the raptor alpha if they're all constantly having to save him while he hides?
  • If the I Rex was made to be bigger than a T Rex and have more teeth, why do they look about the same when they fight?
  • What's the plan to re-capture the T Rex after it kills the I Rex, since the asset recovery team is both useless and dead?
  • Why is every Jurassic Park movie secretly about kids whose parents are splitting up?


Sunday, June 21, 2015

Saturday, June 6, 2015

TV on the Throne - A Game of Thrones Podcast - S5E06: "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"


Sean and Andrew discuss the sixth episode of Game of Thrones Season Five, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken”

WARNING: NSFW language


Monday, June 1, 2015