Happy New Year!

Drink a lot but don't drive at all, have fun, be safe, and enjoy for just a moment the idea that next year life will be different, you'll be better and all things will become possible.

Movie From the Vault - Star Crash

The Emperor of Space sends a ship on a mission to a dark region of space called the Haunted Stars to destroy the home planet of the evil Count Zarth Arn. As they approach the planet, the ship is attacked by "red monsters" that look suspiciously like the inside of a lava lamp.

They recruit Stella Star (played by B-Queen Caroline Munro) to locate the crashed ship, which had the Emperor's son on board.  Most of the movie takes place in various cardboard cutout garage sets that are smaller than my living room, cut apart by spectacularly boring space battles that make no sense at all. The search for the crashed ship does take our heroes to a series of different locales that pass for alien planets. The first is a beach where they are immediately captured by amazons on horseback and attacked by a giant tin statue.

Next they travel to a snow planet where the temperature drops "thousands of degrees" after sundown, so Stella is forced to cover herself with spandex.  The final stop is the Phantom Planet of Count Zarth, where Stella is beset upon by vicious cavemen who destroy her cowboy robot companion and capture her. She is rescued from the troglodytes by a mysterious stranger in a ridiculous helmet who blasts them with laser eye beams until they run away. He unmasks to reveal himself as David Hasselhof, and we come to learn that he is of course the Emperor's missing son.

They make their way to the secret generators of the lava lamp space monsters only to be captured by Zarth and his men. Zarth's plan is to draw the Emperor to the Phantom Planet with the promise of returning his son, then blow it up with everyone on it. Zarth leaves them to be guarded by duck-billed robots with pirate cutlasses, and a clunky awkward stop-motion matte on live action footage laser swordfight ensues.

The Emperor arrives with only a moment before the countdown concludes, and, in the movie's finest moment, commands his battleship to "halt the flow of time" to secure their escape.

After that there's an unbelievably long and repetitive space battle where they essentially fire torpedoes full of soldiers through the windows of Zarth's space fortress (his fortress in space, folks) to invade it.

The Emperor (have I mentioned he's played by Christopher Plummer?) takes a moment to render a final monologue to the camera about how evil has been temporarily defeated, and the curtain falls on what's probably the most ambitiously terrible piece of crap I've ever seen.

Johnny Drama Award: Jeffrey Meek

It's hard to define the qualities of a real-life Johnny Drama. These hard-working charismatic movie stars never really made it to A-list status, but have given us many a Saturday movie night to remember and are the real heroes of the movie business.

You may not remember Jeffrey Meek from the Remo Williams TV pilot that only aired once (co-starring with Roddy McDowell as Chiun), but you’d probably recognize him if you saw him.  He’s done Miami Vice, The Pretender, Profiler, Law & Order and who could forget his portrayal of Vlad the Impaler on Hercules:  The Legendary Journeys?

Perhaps best known for the Raven TV movie and subsequent short-lived TV series, he also starred in the single season Mortal Kombat TV series as both Rayden and Shao Khan.  He’s doing soaps these days, but he’s got a couple of episodes of Charmed under his belt.  And, like Johnny Drama, he’s done a couple of episodes of Pacific Blue.  So congratulations, Jeffrey Meek, you’re a real-life Johnny Drama!

Cool Clips - How It Should Have Ended

Check out www.howitshouldhaveended.com for some of the funniest spoofs on the internet. Their Superman short is the funniest, but they're all really good.  In the spirit of Tron 2, here's a rap tribute they made to the original.

Johnny Drama Award: Dieter Laser

Can you give out a Johnny Drama Award on the basis of a single performance? How about simply on the basis of an awesome name? Well, either way, I recommend German creepy guy Dieter Laser, who is the evil mastermind behind the Human Centipede. That movie is about as weird and unsettling as they come and everything Daniel Tosh said it would be.

Dolph Lundgren Breaking News

According to Dolphlundgren.com, Dolph is currently shooting a sequel to "In the Name of the King" where he will play a special forces commando who travels back in time to the dark ages. Sounds pretty awesome...

People to Watch - Alexi Wasser

I've been watching her shorts on YouTube and she has a blog at http://imboycrazy.com/. Cheeky, irreverent and sometimes a little explicit, so the content's not for everyone. But I think she's adorable.

Saw her in Cabin Fever 2 (which is awful, by the way). Took me forever to figure out why I recognized her because IMDB doesn't list commercial credits, but she's this girl...

Check out the all new Dark Crazy Store!

With the re-launch of the Dark Crazy site comes the re-launch of the Dark Crazy Store! Check it out to buy Dark Crazy Publications, TV Ate My Dinner Products and Apparel, and a never-ending collection of pop culture designs to feed your inner geek!

TVAMD Apps!

Apparently we have apps.  I'm not sure what these are or what they do, but if any of you know what an app is drop me a line and let me know. Seems there may be a profit in it.

A more coherent promotion of our apps may be forthcoming...

ADCM Campaign Mode Almost Ready to Launch!

Evil Robot Logic's debut game, Asteroids Do Concern Me, is upgrading with a new campaign mode that doesn't just feature the voice of Sir St. John during the intro, but it will feature a story narration throughout the gameplay as well. We already recorded the VO, so hopefully the campaign mode will be available before Christmas.

Asteroids Do Concern Me

Evil Robot Logic Presents... Asteroids Do Concern Me! Sir St. John C. O' Herlihy narrates this high octane adventure through an Asteroid field of death! It's available now through XBox Online!